Friday, December 23, 2011

Seriously Santa,isn't it about the kids?

As far as I am concerned Christmas comes with an extensive list of duties and joys; shall I name a few?  Label them to suit your personality...

  1. Christmas cards -  Is it big enough, does it sparkle, does the 'coolness' match the friend, should it be a semi-donation with UNICEF, (oh dear, I just received one that sings a song, mine does not sing), have I really been sending these cards with thought?  Okay, in all honesty.... A blurb.  I thought it would suit everyone.  I got through family... they were all the same apart from, "Dear ...." It has bean a busy time of year.  But where my guilt takes place, is where the friends are left.  A pathetic excuse I know, but those blank envelopes are staring at me... "write on me, write on me", (said in a ghostly voice similar to that heard on a Scooby Doo Cartoon).  I am not 'under-valuing' my friendship with you all, but seriously, I've received more Xmas greetings from my bank and real estate than from friends.  Perhaps I should be more friendly? I know I should of finished the Christmas greetings, but "Ho ho ho, Merry Internet Christmas!"  I guess now I do not have to buy Christmas cards next year.
  2. Christmas music in shops - it shall no longer be narrowed to the lifts of larger department stores.  The "Girl from Ipanema" is now officially sung in a Christmas jingle in every Westfield present, and "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" is accepted as a rap from Eminem or Kayne West.  Personally, I think I do an awesome version if you would like an audio copy, (you think I am joking?!?), it is performed in the shower but I rock!
  3. An excuse - not to break personal law, but to break goals or inhibitions that have taken a year of aiming to achieve.  Eat and drink what you like.  In my experience, just remember, it is not a schoolies celebration, yes the children will be there to wake you at 6 am in the morning and no, you were not the 500th customer, you do not receive a sleep in and a day without responsibility.  In my opinion, live it up , Christmas is about eating and drinking, (for a day, not for the weeks surrounding the 24 hour period).
  4. Christmas tree- I am trying to leave this one as an open comment.  I love Christmas.  Perhaps more than most.  When I was pregnant with my first, 1 month due in 2007, I was absolutely convinced that if we did not purchase a tree that stood as the largest monument in the world, then I would not make a good mum...  (Did you know that is how Family Assistance office ranks you as a capable parent?  It is purely by the height of your Christmas tree.)  So, insult of my insecurities, we now have a tree over 2 metres tall, (for the adults), a 1 metre tree for the children, (to decorate and undecorate at their leisure), a tree, outside our window that is lit with lights and a star on top, provided by Perth City council, thank you very much, (this one is easily 30 metres tall, in all honesty, I should thank the council, but princess thinks that daddy did it for her.... who am I to spoil the fairy tale?) So hubby is taking the acclaim for this at the moment.  But I figure the truth will eventually come out... along with Santa, the tooth Fairy, cupid and Yoda.  By the way, tree topper, I never could decide ...angel or star????  Which belongs?  Is it fair to compare this to the chicken or egg situation?
  5. Keep Santa alive- The older you get the harder it gets.  I am not just talking about hardened deposits of fat on the walls of you arteries or the walls of your auditory canals thinning, ( no, I am not just referring to heart attack and deafness).  Finding it a little difficult in our household to keep Santa alive.   My husband should not ask in front of the children about the source of gift.  "Santa, or mum and dad; who shall I say it is from?"  Perhaps best not to answer this question in front of the child?  Santa sent a letter, so he must be true. He is a good guy but he is going to take your pacifier (life support away)... He is your friend, sit on his lap, and mummy will give you a lolly pop that you should not accept from strangers... Yes honey, a stranger similar to the one I just made you cuddle and have photo with..... (Parenting is sooooo easy!)  Why does mummy look uneasy you ask.... that is because when mummy had to sit in the photo with both of you, Santa asked mummy what she wanted for Christmas before you and he helped mummy off from his sleigh with his palm.  "Thanks Santa,Mrs Claus not lascivious at the moment? I am sure I joked about wanting a clean house and a moment to myself ... this does not rhyme with "please touch my butt", Santa deaf now?
  6. Letter to and from Santa - "Dear Santa, I would now like something totally different to what I told you a month ago.  Sorry Santa, I hope you were not really organised and made my toys too early.  Because now you have to go to Myer and buy what I REALLY want.  By the way, I have also decided what my brother really wants for Xmas!"

It may sound like I am complaining, but I do love this time of year.  I love that the community panics at the grocery store like the world is going to end and they have to shop before they get to their respective bomb shelters.  I love that strangers can ask your children if they are naughty or nice, and ask me if I am organised, ha, do I look organised?  I love that I am cooking a turkey and a ham for my vegetarian husband to carve.  Christmas is a special time.

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