You park, I'll queue...

The last time we went to something free in Perth, (I love free stuff if it isn't moldy), it was a Wild Fairyland Festival in Kings Park that invited an aggregation of children high on pixie dust and ready to party.  I have had a few crazy New Years Parties in my time but this was maniacal.  Toddlers waving wands frantically and boasting wings that doubled their body girth, it made for an interesting day and a commotion to navigate crowds. We abandoned the line for face painting left the park and headed towards the Swan River, approximately 3km away, and instead we waited 45 minutes for a free pony ride. The day ended with smiles; but bruises, sweat and frustration; from me. Larger crowds than boxing day sales.

Challenge number two;  Perth Zoo Family Day, and I am expecting large crowds.  (Fat Cat's Teddy Bear's Picnic is also on today, but I have had my eye on the zoo event for a while, so here we are.) I feel as though I am prepared for this particular event.  I aim to be there for opening, I will race to the front of the face painting line while my husband parks the car, I have washed and pressed my wrist and head sweat bands, so we are all ready to go; yes, I take family outings very seriously. We managed to find a park in the 50 spot car park, but we trip at the start line as we discover the pay machine is out of order and you are required to leave a note on your dashboard.  Not how I imagined the race, (I mean fun filled family day) to begin.  We stalked several people before borrowing a felt tip marker used purely for poster art, (5cm tip, what the %&$£, seriously this is all you have in you glove box?) and we leave a note for the blind ticket man to decipher with ease.

So perhaps I panicked, it has been know to happen once or twice.  "Mummy, I can see the monkeys", was very quickly followed by, "Quick, follow mummy, I am leading us to face painting!"  Seriously, I burnt 400 calories this morning to be greeted by an empty field, 2 smiling teenagers handing me a show bag and a chance at first place in which ever event we next wish to choose.  Wow.  Cool.  Quiet.  Did nobody else see the free family fun day sign that has been on the main street for the last 2 months.  (Did Fat Cat win again?)  I'd been wanting to challenge the crowds, this was a bit of a let down.

Priorities, first stop face painting and my princess requests a fairy.  We are at a zoo, I presume that she has been wanting this face paint since the Fairy Festival in early October so I do not contest.  My prince on the other hand, is a little harder to convince.  No matter how many lion roars I execute or gorrilla chest thumping hubby performs, (given the crowds are low so these are Oscar performances), my son is still convinced that body art is not his style so we progress.  But not before... "Do I look beautiful?" we reply with a yes to recieve, "yes I do look beautiful".  Perhaps this week we can work on how to accept complements graciously.

Off to the art.  The children make a face mask, with no queue, before a quick jump on the inflatable disney castle, then off to the sand art stall.  Fantastic.  Choose a picture, remove a sticker at a time and the child covers this in sand.  It felt a bit like a free for all at a stocktake sale, elbowing to get to certain colours, and that was just the parents. There are some very serious parents out there."Okay so now the outline is black, next colour should be red", child responds "I want blue".  Parent response, "Not now Bob, mummy is busy creating".  The end result was very effective, but was presumably achieved by parents descretion.  Personally I am happy with brown sky, pink grass, and blue dinosaur, each to there own.

Next family activity is to teach your children the skills to run away from home and join the circus at an early stage.  My son becomes proficient with the 'devil sticks', my husband puts on his best pole dancer face as he masters the hoola hoop, and my daughter attempts juggling with one ball and one eye closed.  Lucky for me, I do not think anyone acquired the skills to join the circus, looks like no one is abandonning me just yet.

Next a short quiet rest on our picnic rug to devour their free yogo and chocolate milk, and a spin on the choclate wheel to win a pair of Coke Cola sunglasses and back pack.  (They both actually one 6 glasses each, but persuaded attendant, that probably not appropriate for a toddler and a klutz.)

The stage show starts and features a man dressed for a Hawaiian holiday, that sounds like Iain Hewitson from 'Hueys Cooking' show, and tells cheesey jokes like he is drunk at a Christmas Party. His side kick is Super Dog.  Adversary to Fat Cat. Large mute fluffy dog with a red cape and no pants.  I am always a little surprisd that these characters created to entertain children don't adorn the basic undergarments known to be expected in todays society.  The children were shown a large bag of lolly pops at the beginnig of the show, so this managed to maintain their interest until the conclusion when they finally reaped their sugary reward for staying the duration.

Two hours seemed to be plenty and we took the children for a little rainforest walk and then to see the elephants.  I find them so interesting, I can be mesmerized by the grace and gentle nature of the elephant, swaying back and forth, they seem to have so much character and wisdom with their baggy saggy skin. I turn to share my amazement with the children who obviously prefer the miniture statue of an elephant.  Maybe we educate on another day?

A great day that ended with DimSum in Northbridge, (Perth's China town), full bellies and some quality family time.

Nice heels AND a trip to Bali

Flossing is good for you.  I flossed out a tooth.  Good for me?  Not really. I almost feel as though I have cursed myself.  My husband and I had just mentioned 24 hours prior that we should probably find a dentist.  (Personally, I took this as seriously as a request for a plumber or mechanic.)  I was not really expecting to have to hunt down a professional after an innocent conversation.  Remind me not to mention proctologist or gynaecologist anytime soon!

So now, by default of flossing too much, I have managed to floss out a tooth.  Why yes I have been working out, thank you for asking.  But apparently it had nothing to do with my muscle capacity and the force or frequency of my floss, and yes I did ask.

My new dentist is from Ukraine, she is 'youngish', and she was wearing a stunning pair of dark green pumps.  She was lovely.  And I am glad.  I have a feeling I will be purchasing a 9 night 10 day holiday in Bali for her; all inclusive meals, drinks, oh and extra motor sports water activity.  This will all come to her in the next 12 months.  So I am glad I like her, because it was quite a gift for a friend. She may even get a white t-shirt with a screen print of my face with animated speech bubble saying "I charge too much for dentistry and all I got was this lousy shirt". To all of my friends, please do not take offence of not receiving a holiday also, perhaps you should have chosen dentistry?  Presumably this holiday will all be possible for her after my 4 fillings are removed, and replaced, I have a good clean, oh and the five crowns?  Hmmmm.  Any chance the crown comes decorated with valuable gems?  I only have one head, what do I need 5 for?

So I presume that you now have an image of me going to bed every night with a big stick of fairy floss in hand and a bottle of 2L Coke Cola, or Pepsi, (no product placement intended, I am not sponsored). This does not happen. I was questioned by my dentist about an addiction to sugary drinks.  When I replied to my fizzy drink intake, "Oh dear, I drink a lot of mineral water" (her response appeared to be silence, then "does not count", followed by a look of 'are you sure you are not blond?')   I spoil myself with a can of 'energy drink' once a week, and that is my only downfall.  Surely this is not the culprit?

So now my new 'friend' informs me that there will only be a painful pinch during the procedure.  The nerve endings in that particular tooth are dead so I should not feel too much apart from that constant pinch.  "Constant pinch, constant pinch,  constant pinch, constant pinch, constant pinch"......  So can you guess what is going through my mind at this precise time?  Did I turn off the bathroom light?  No!  Surprisingly I am pondering on the constant pinch.  Yup.  Two children, 9 pound 11 and 9 pound  13, and no,  I am not a hippopotamus, but  a human female, that considers herself to be a superhero, who can sustain the pain of  'a constant pinch', BUT I do not appreciate dental work, blood tests, or a 'constant pinch'!  So since there are no nerve endings in that one particular tooth, let's not give any pain relief.  Oh hang on a second, I appear to be the only one laughing.  Not a joke?   Hhhhmmmmmm.  Bluntly, "so I know we have only just met, but will you do numbing gel at least?" I pleaded.  She then informs me that she personally hates the feeling of being numb, and has a high pain threshold, she apologises for presuming.  I accept her apology, tell her that I personally hate dentists, (request she does not take that personally), and tell her I have no problem with drooling when I talk for the next 2 hours, so numb away!  Her response, dentists aren't so bad I could be a proctologist.  So true, and if that was the case, I would probably still be asking her to numb it up!

It amazes me how easy it is to communicate with two hands in your mouth.  She also bruises easily, plays active sports, enjoys heating pork buns in the microwave as a quick snack, needs to practise her Ukrainian, and I am guessing that she has a new dental assistant.  How do I know this last fact? Because my mouth was sucked up 10 times with a mini motored mouth vacuum cleaner.  And the water spray in my mouth created a volcano spilling effect that resulted in her wiping me down like I'd just participated in a night of university $1 spirits concluding with a wet t-shirt competition, patting my face and surrounds down with her thick kleenex tissue.  I would not demand that much patting with a tissue again unless paying for a facial.  Pretty sure MBF did not cover this service.

Why do I think that the dental assistant was new?  Firstly is conduct; a patient probably does not want to hear you say... "It's not working is it?  Should I get you something else?  What do you need?  Because that is not working is it?" Ummm helllooooo!!!!!!  I am attached to this mouth, just because my eye's are closed, it does not mean I am asleep.  (Actually, I am pretty relaxed here with my feet up and no children around.)  Not quite a full body massage, but the 'numbing' has kicked in so it is a desperate version of 'me time'.

Also, in a dentistry office, how do you fill the silence?  My Ukrainian friend with the nice shoes left for an important phone call leaving me with her dental assistant.  15 seconds into an awkward silence.... "So how's your day?  You have two kids?  Any plans for the weekend?"   Hmmmm my apprentice friend, firstly, you may want to pause between proseccution questions because I pleaded for an overdose in pain relief about half an hour ago, so at the moment you do not want a response from me unless you don a rain coat.  Some how I managed "Day is bad, no plans, too many kids". Thank fully my bad mood is translated as, "Da is ba, na pla, ta ma ka!" Said with a mist spray.  Queue unqualified dental assistant, who nods and says "A ha", obviously the response they learn in dental college translated as, 'I have no idea what you just said'.

So long story short, (wishful thinking), in the last few weeks I have found a doctor my age, dentist my age and the lady that also runs my playgroup appears to be my age, oh and a physiotherapist, (in her spare time).  I am impressed with Perth and the young female dynamos, it is even a little encouraging.  Oh dear, is that motivation I feel in my belly.  Maybe this means I will start doing things soon?

Dolly vs CHOGM

The end of October saw Perth host CHOGM. The Commonwealth Heads Of Government Meeting is a summit meeting of the heads of Government from all Commonwealth nations.  This meeting is held every two years and was even graced with the presence of Queen Elizabeth the 2nd, (as head of the Commonwealth).  All normality ceased and the dignitaries and royalty came with an entourage of police 'borrowed' from other Australian states.

If you ask me, the police staffing was a little melodramatic.  Roads were blocked and unblocked constantly over a seven day period.  There were police with white waving gloves dancing like Michael Jackson on standby at all traffic lights.  Snipers on roofs, and no doubt undercover agents everywhere talking into their wrists.

Perhaps I should of felt more proud or patriotic that this event was being held by Perth.  In my mind we are still on holiday, I presume that by 6 months I will be referring to 'residence' as 'home'.  For now, ummm "Congratulations?" Seriously it is a government meeting, (guess who is not into politics), not the Roman Empire.  Nevertheless, I will however revel in the bonuses.  CHOGM has definitely come with a slip stream of positives.

• Every street was pristine, clean, all gardens manicured impeccably; it was fit for a queen.

• Ferry rides are free.  (I had to explain to princess the difference between ferry and fairy; I think she was a little disappointed to go across the Swan River in a boat instead of a free ride on Tinker Bells back.)  I love a good bargain.  I am not a penny pincher, but I must admit that I have noticed that the dollar does not go that far here.  Cost of living on the west coast is definitely more expensive than the east coast of Australia. In retrospect, I am convinced that Milan was even cheaper.  It appears that Perth is similar to the living expense of Oslo, Norway.  Splendid!  Apparently Cottesloe Perth has the average house price of 2 million, the most expensive in Australia, have a feeling we will not be extending our property portfolio anytime soon!

• 

  Care for a free ride?

• Another positive is if I get concussed, say by a fall or by walking into a pole, (if you know my coordination then you would be aware that this is very likely), then I would instantly be able to identify where I am.  How you ask?  With the helpful assistance of my Hollywood  "Perth" sign. Gigantic white letters letting all of our visitors know where they are.  I am even able to look out of my window and across the river to see the sign, this helps with any confusion after a few glasses of wine.  Flowers and hedges were even molded to spell Perth.  Surely all of these people saw the destination on their plane tickets?

• Free BBQ.  Woo hoo!  We didn't actually go, it was supposedly a casual BBQ with the queen, come along, get a sausage on bread. We witnessed it from our apartment as we had our own BBQ with beloved family and no one trying to crowd surf over my head to touch the beloved crown. It's estimated that nearly 100,000 people turned up at Perth's foreshore to farewell Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and His Royal Highness the Duke of Edinburgh as they completed their Australian tour. We had one guest.  So perhaps I am not as popular as her highness. Apparently she did not eat a sausage, the queen does not eat in public; downing a sausage is not particularly regal I guess. Let it be known that I ate a sausage, and I was not afraid to squirt tomato and BBQ sauce over it! The Queen left Australia that afternoon, boarding a jet in Perth, luckily it was not a Qantas flight as its CEO Alan Joyce announced the carrier had grounded its entire fleet effective from that day. Can you imagine the Queen on a standby flight, napping on bench with cabin bag as a pillow???  Awkward...

• There are more police out and about then members of the community, so presumably there is little chance of being pick pocketed on this particular weekend.  We witnessed what can only be described as the most peaceful protest on earth.  Up and down the mall, the police led and followed protesters by horse back.  It was all very civilised, apart from the horse poop left behind, shouldn't they have a poop bag for that?

Big horse....

Equals big poop...

CHOGM managed to book out the majority of Perth for the week period.  Between press and entourage, things were pretty busy.  Can you guess what attracted more hotel bookings?  Dolly Parton, yup, you bet your cowgirl booties!  How does one begin to describe an icon like Dolly Parton? Singer-songwriter, author, multi-instrumentalist, actress, philanthropist, businesswoman; this mighty talent’s list of credentials is worth every ounce of admiration she receives.  Oh, and by the way, she has really big boobies.  So huge in fact, that Perth was literally booked out the days surrounding her concert in an attempt to get a sighting of the booming bosoms.  Dolly verses the queen.  You decide.  Would you prefer the creator of a song about working 9 to 5, or a head on a coin who has never worked 9 to 5?

Ummmmm, we come for the music, honest???

I've been busy doing stuff

It has been such a long time since I have 'recorded memories', to be honest I do not know where time has gone.  How many times have you driven to work, arrived and then thought, "I don't remember getting here, gee I hope I didn't run a red light?!?"  This is how I feel. I have been living life on auto pilot if you will, (and hopefully not running too many red lights). Now would be a good time to recap the Hollywood glamour that is my life.

We found an apartment, fantastic location, we are all very happy and the carpets were stained before we came. Every wall is marked or scuffed like it has been attacked by a gang of Parkour specialists, and the vertical blinds in my sons room smell and flake like rotten hay. You would think that these conditions would bother me, but I welcome with open arms an opportunity to blend my children's 'lasting impression' on a rental property, with its original poor state.  I was granted permission to remove the rotting hay bale from my sons room, only if it was done by a paid professional.  So I paid somebody from Kresta blinds to come and unclip 10 single Venetian blinds, wink, wink, I wrapped them in plastic, air tight, duct tape, then forced behind blankets in the top of the cupboard.  I think I can still smell the hay; but I plan for them to return to their rotten noose at the end of our lease, so unfortunately they can not be disposed of permanently.  "Wow", I hear you say, "rotting blinds, you know where to find the excitement in Perth!"

Anyhow...our storage arrived from Newcastle NSW.  We have not seen these things in 2 years and it was like an early Christmas.  Every box opened  was greeted with either  "Why did we keep this?" or "Is this ours?"  It is funny how tastes change over the years, I'm not talking about a tolerance for brussel sprouts or acceptance of spam, I am talking about a love for nick knacks turning into a love for minimal.  Now I have stuff to hide.

One month later... more stuff to hide. Even though we were in a fully furnished apartment in Milan, it was very basic, so we picked up a few necessities on the way.  83 boxes worth actually.  Oh dear.  Minimalistic, in my dreams, almost inconceivably. 83 does sound like alot, but to my defence, 1/3 were toys just returning to their home land, the next 1/3 was clothing but winter jackets take up a lot of room and I am well prepared next time we move to Antarctica.  Last 1/3, my husband will tell you consists of Ikea white pot plants, and Ikea white shelving units.

I am sure you are all aware that our experience in Italy was one of an eye opener as far as bureaucracy and paper work is concerned.  So it was no surprise to us that it took 3 months for our belongings to reach us from the Italian shores.  Slow boat?  Big queue at the gas station for tankers? Quick go back I forgot my pasta and espresso machines?  Once again, opening the boxes felt like it was Christmas.  My princess slept with 5 barbie dolls like she had been reacquainted with a lost love.  My prince had trains set up next to his bed ready for attack choo choo first thing in the morning.  And that evening, my husband was not concerned that I was hugging my returned pillow; after all he was spooning his espresso machine.  Is that wrong?

We have had a Toyota Klugar, (to be read with a manly grunt, similar to Tim Allen in Home Improvement), which has now been returned to the hire car stealer's, boo hoo, but one month later than anticipated, yee hah! I've gone from driving a Fiat in Milan wearing high heels everyday, to a big 4WD and a concerning urge to tattoo "out of my way" on my forehead.  (Perhaps a little to permanent in hindsight.)  Now the rental is gone and we have taken on a lease. It took awhile for persuasion on this matter, but now I tell myself I am chartering a vehicle, (just sound fancy), and considering I have agreed to live the life of a gypsy until the children reach high school, this was perhaps the best option. So now I have a Mitsubishi Outlander, (which I love), and I think it is a satisfying compromise between mini and giant vehicle.  Picture if you will, a tattooed forehead in a lovely pair of red pumps.  Oh yeh, soooo Perth, welcome to the west side!  My soul mate has been given his work car, Toyota Camry, very reliable.  It is nice. My description of this car is similar to a real estate agent promoting a rotten fibro house as a cute and cozy cottage. It is a car, it works when you turn the key, good enough for me. Up to date now?  I am living it up.  I really need to start doing things; but I am too busy doing stuff, so not right now, maybe later????

Look at the friendly Black Swan

I had spotted a pond at the end of our street, so with stale bread in hand, we headed off on a duck hunt.  True to form, my princess had consumed two pieces of the stale bread before we even reached the pond, and when we did arrive, the only thing bopping up and down on the water was an empty iced coffee bottle. 

Spotting some galahs close by, we tried throwing some bread at it.  This just scared it away.  I had spotted a few little ant hills, but pretty sure it would be a slow process feeding them the stale bread.  We continued onto the Swan River where there is a little makeshift beach.  It seems that the seagulls will have to be our prey for attention.  The children start to catapult the bread with all of their might at the squawking birds, (distancing an average of one meter in front of them), and they seem to multiply and appear out of thin air.  These are hungry birds.

“Look.  Oh how beautiful.  Three black swans.”  I announced to  the children.  So graceful, they glided along the water’s edge and then slowly waddled out of the water.  I found it uncanny to see Black Swans on Swan River.  After all, you do not see tall, agressive, powerful women floating down the  Amazon river do you?  They looked so friendly, (swans, not female warriors).  They waddled through the crowd of seagulls.  They waddled straight towards us.  Picking up speed now.  Um, still waddling.  Good lord Mr Black Swan, you are taller than my son!  I grabbed the bag of bread out of my child’s hand and threw it at the swans.  This stopped their waddling and eased my accelerated heart rate, (a little).   Calm down I tell myself, it is just a bird, I immediately remember teasing my husband in Italy about his fear of geese, lovely bird, so friendly.

I encouraged my crew down the beach a little bit, so we can put our feet in the water and play in the sand.  Unfortunately one of the swans was convinced that I had bread stuffed in my pockets.  It made eye contact with me 25 meters away, and it started its waddle, we were having a stare down and this thing did not blink once.  Can swans smell fear, because I was oozing it! Waddle, waddle. Its neck straightened, and wings extended, (obviously to assist in its aerodynamic land speed). It eye balled me and flitted across the sand faster than an English tourist thong less on Bondi beach in the middle of summer.  This is it, this swan is going to consume one of my children. “Run!” I yelled as I collected the camera and shoes and sprinted for the grass area.  “Run, I said run!” I screamed again.  Didn’t they know their lives were in danger?  My daughter turned to run towards me, my son, defending his family turned and threw a fistful of sand at the attacker.  They say ‘fear is learnt’, come on son, surely you can sense my fear here?!?

I backtracked quickly like a lioness protecting her cubs and swept my son to safety.  (Actually, that is what I should of done.  Pretty sure, in reality, I just stood behind a tree screaming, ‘run for your life’!)

Once the attacking swan retreated, we bravely entered the beach again, as far away from the bird life as possible.  This is where we discovered jelly fish.  Jelly fish! Really?  Perth really is pulling out all the stops to make this feel like a real beach.  I have a feeling that it has something to do with the queen visiting for CHOGM? Perhaps the seagulls, imported sand and jelly fish are just Perth’s way to promote the image of Australia being one big beach; even on the river?  If the queen really needs convincing, I am more than willing to host a BBQ on the beach.  Snags on bread?  Or black swan on bread perhaps?  Is that wrong?

Langley Park Flyin

We are finally ‘box free’ in our new apartment.  Everything seems to be unpacked and have a place, (if not a cupboard to hide in until later).  Out of sight out of mind works well for me.  Children are sleeping in their own rooms and seem settled at nights again, do not think we have had uninterrupted sleeps since Italy, which was 2 and a half months ago now.  Think my husband is mentally doing the touchdown dance as he was the one to always get up to them during the night, (or shall I say, I trained them to wake daddy and mummy plays a good fake dead).

Our first full weekend in our new abode had us excited about our new view of Perth city and the Swan River.  We managed to fluke fireworks at the Gold Coast on my son’s birthday, and made a point to tell the children that it was a little something that mummy and daddy organised.  So now anytime there is activity in the air my daughter presumes it is something my husband and I have organised.  Therefor the Langley Flyin that was running this weekend was organised as a house warming for the children.  (I love that their naivety results in us looking like superheros!)

The Langley Park  Flyin had us watching Aerobatic flying all weekend from our window.  There was no need for a gold coin donation to enter and watch, nor did we get a saw neck from looking up, we just looked out. (We actually had friends over on the Sunday to watch, gold coin donation for entry could have been a good money spinner….is that wrong?)

The aircrafts showcased were from the 1920s to 2011 including experimental, vintage, commercial and military aircraft.  The children particularly enjoyed watching the planes go ‘loop the loop’, I enjoyed watching them hang in the air before bomb diving towards the Swan River.  They often disappeared towards the building in front of us, to be honest I had to hold my breath a couple of times and did have a few 9/11 flashbacks.

My daughter was very proud of herself in the afternoon to spot a new plane all by herself.  “Look mummy, I see the biggest plane” she pointed in amazement.  “Yes dear, I too am amazed, that plane is Qantas, I thought they were all grounded with the strikes.”

Green tea, dirty magazines and a Wiggle

It has been 3 and ½ weeks stay in the ‘helltell’ and finally the time has arrived to move into our rented apartment.  I love hotels.  I love that someone else comes to make my bed. I love that I get a fresh towel every day and I love the lemongrass scent of the free shampoo and conditioner, (it is free isn’t it)?

Our ‘helltell’ is  … “designed to ensure your stay is comfortable in an atmosphere that makes you feel at home by providing a level of professional and genuine service to their guest”…

1.       A homely atmosphere refers to the pornographic magazines that were provided, (I think by accident)?

2.       Genuine service refers to the full boxes of green tea left on my kitchen bench every day, (I think room service was concerned with the empty bottles of wine awaiting rubbish collection every day in the first week, I am sure my ‘Spanish Lynda’ thinks she is providing a leading role in some sort of unspoken AA program)?

3.       By professional service, they must be referring to their skill of mind reading.  My husband and I were discussing guilt for not taking son to Wiggles production down the road; within an hour of our conversation, we receive a personal meet and greet with a blue Wiggle.  Now that is service.

Perhaps I should explain a few of the above points?

1.       I am not an overly religious person myself, but I am sentimental in the fact that nowadays, in a world  of robot discs that clean floors and cars that reverse parallel park themselves, that you can still find a bible in the top draw next to your bed.  To be honest I am surprised that it is still on offer in paperback, not offered via the cable television station or electronic notebook.  You know what else my ‘helltell’ offers in paperback? Porn.  Yup. Dirty magazines.  Three in fact.  I found them at the top of my cupboard when I decided to store the bible up there to make room for my underwear in the draw.  So for the last three weeks, the bible has been sleeping on top of the pornography.  Is that wrong?  I have been so busy with the move I have not even had any time to read the articles.

2.       My husband and I decided, (or shall I say I made an executive decision), to do a 15 day detox during our time in the ‘helltell’.  Our stay in Milan had us relishing in a diet of white bread and wine, so to kick start our life in Perth I thought a detox was called for.  No alcohol, caffeine, or delicious food, if our love can withstand this then we can conquer the world, (insert evil laugh here) “bwa ha ha ha ha”.  Long story short, (it is not really how I do things but I will give it a go).  At the moment green tea is our saviour.  Staying in a hotel long term has us all accustomed to the luxury of room service.   All you do is put a sign on your door every morning and you get your bed made, fresh towels, the fluff cleared out of the clothes dryer and a box of green tea.  I have enough green tea to fund a coffee shop in China.

3.       We have had such a busy weekend ahead with signing the lease, removalist trucks, packing, unpacking, haircuts, trying to wash and dry linen that has been in storage and all battling with ill health.  In the midst of it all, there is a Wiggles concert happening a block away from the helltell.  I had decided against going since we had so much to do, and besides, it would have been cheaper to take a helicopter ride down the Swan River.  No wonder the Wiggles are still performing, they must be making an absolute mint! Over dinner on the night before we moved, my husband and I discussed feeling guilty that the weekend was going to be revolving around moving, and no doubt quite disruptive for the kids.  Maybe we should take them to the Wiggles show? Crossing the road back to the hellltell, my son declares “Wiggle”.  Good spotting son!  I became immediately star struck.  “Excuse me, Mr Wiggle!”  I called. (Yeh, pretty sure that is not his name.) Now that I have his attention, where do I go from here?  Should I ask him why he is not wearing his blue skivvy? We managed a photo and a nice little chat, he even asked us about where we were from and our travels. You will be happy to know that Wiggles are people too.  Mr Anthony Wiggle even has a tattoo and a gold tooth!  He has 3 children, none of which request Wiggles songs to be sung, he doesn’t like the red eye flight out of Perth, and he enjoys relaxing walks along the beach at sunset.  (It is amazing what you can find out in a short ride in a lift.)  Oh, and not totally stalking, but he is staying two floors above us in the hotel.  My son was in awe, so I think we just managed one better than taking him to the show.