Welcome to the family

Pet

I took princess to her speech therapy session this morning.  We have been working hard on trying to get rid of a slight stutter, so have been attending sessions every month or so to try and control it before she starts school next year.  We refer to the stutter as bumps.  On the way to her session, I am told “I can’t wait to get some bumps today mummy!”  After trying to explain that we are off to get rid of the bumps not to get them, my daughter replies, “Oh, well if I can’t get some bumps, can I get a pet.”  Hmmmmm.

The next 5 minutes is spent explaining rental agreements including a no pet clause; I observe my daughter picking her nose in the rear view mirror and take an educated guess that she is not 100% interested in restrictions of any sort. I am interrupted mid-sentence, “I know, I know, I know, not that sort of pet, it can’t have claws.”  (That is not her stutter by the way, I checked with the therapist, apparently that is the teenage attitude rearing in my 4 year old.  Marvellous.  Good times ahead!)

“I would like a bunny, does it have claws?”

“Oh yes darling, very, very sharp claws, ouch. I think bunnies  are illegal as pets in Western Australia.  I think you can have them in Queensland where Nana and Pa live?  Maybe you should ask them to get one that you can play with when you visit?  I am sure Nana and Pa would LOVE a pet rabbit!”

I look in the rear view mirror again to see princess staring out the car window tracing the raindrops with her finger.  Phew, close call.  Obviously this conversation is over.

“What pets don’t have claws, I don’t want to get scratch and hurt.” DAMN!!!!  I know sarcasm, children really love sarcasm!?!

“Whales.  Giraffes.  Maybe we should get an elephant.  What about a meerkat?  Daddy would love a meerkat!?!”

Response.  “No mummy, they are wild animals, not pets!”  Seriously.  I did not teach her that, is it wrong to be upset at the effectiveness of the state education system.

“We cannot get a pet that needs room to run, we do not have the room so it is not fair on the animal.”

“What pets do not run.”

“A fish.”

“Alright.”

End of conversation.

We had a fabulous therapy session, going back in 6 weeks to check articulation, (ching, ching, goes the monetary sound of our therapists holiday fund), but she has improved immensely and we are all very proud.  “You did a great job, hardly any bumps, mummy is so proud of you!  Do you want to do something special before we go to get your brother?”

“We can get a fish now.”  Hmmmmmmm.  What just happened?  Did I agree to this?

We now have a fighter fish.  (Because they live alone and it is less responsibility for life?) It is purple.  It lives in the kitchen.  The tank has purple rocks. And we are going to the bed to think about the name.  It has to have a name, but apparently we need to think about it.  Choices; Arial, Violet, Flappy, Anita, Tinkerbelle, Bubbles, Splash and Fishy.  Before bed I catch her saying her farewells.

“Goodnight fish.  I love you soooo much, welcome to my family.  I will love you forever.  See you in the morning.  What’s that mummy?”  She says as she points towards the defrosting food sitting next to the fish tank. 

“That is mummy and daddy’s dinner.”

“What is it?”

Hmmmmmmm.

“What is it?”

“It is fish…..”  I whisper.

“No!!!!!!!  Don’t eat our pet!  He has a new home!”

Thank goodness I did not buy a duck!  They don’t have claws, and I love to eat duck…. Awkward!

NOTE: Bunnies are actually legal in WA and illegal in QLD.  I’m glad my 4 year old can’t Google.

Photos say it all...

Byron Bay is a trip looked forward to each year; I now hope this will be an annual event.  So far it has been a chance to reconnect with friends, family and to meet some amazing people.  Children wander from parent to parent and we all quite happily swap and choose them as we please.  Conversation flows.  Life seems easy.  Cares are melted away with early morning yoga but happily awakened with your own children playing in the park behind you. Subconscious or real?  It all seems to melt into one.  This seems to be my one time of year that I reflect on the past and predict the future. Like a car, I need to be serviced.  Byron Bay is my yearly service. 

Time to wax the board....




And hook the line...







Parents try to escape...

Children try to escape

Play 'Bay Watch' theme in background

surfing with cousins



Still trying to escape at night time, points for persistence.......



Faster, faster!!!!



Time for family and time for me; a time for understanding...



Faster Pa!

Faster Nana?!?




 



Practice on dry land....



Beauty is serene...



Attack aunt as instructed!  Now!  Woo Haa!!!!!




Corny, cheesy, beefy, fishy, chickeney.... what ever you want to call it.. "My Byron Family",
(No matter how far I roam...")



 

Shoo fly, don't bother me

After a good nights sleep, we were prepared for a day of exploring Hyden.  Our first stop is Wave Rock.  This was our 'draw card' in the first place, as it is Hyden's major destination. This is evident by their merchandise of t-towels, key rings, thermometers and stubbie coolers.  Wave Rock is a granite cliff that stands 15 metres high and 110 metres long.  The wave-like shape was caused by weathering and water erosion, which has undercut the base and left a rounded overhang.

In 1960, crystals from Hyden Rock were dated as being 2700 million years old, amongst the oldest in Australia.

After surfing the rock, we all climbed to the top to explore various rock formations, to view the damn, and enjoy the 360 degree view, (while spotting some lizards).  Warnings are given to wear appropriate footwear, and in hindsight thongs and crocs were probably not the best foot attire for steep and slippery rock climbing.  They had a picture of high heels on the sign, so I figured thongs would not be so bad.

Hippos Yawn consists of an unusually shaped granite top that was formerly part of the larger outcrop.  It is next to Wave Rock, and yep, you guessed it, was shaped like a hippo yawning.  You could climb into the cave and the children particularly enjoyed being passed from rock to rock like a swinging monkey, needless to say, a good workout for the parents!

Hippos yawn

Little explorers

There was a salt pool on offer, (every Resort has a swimming pool), only this one is a little different.  First warnings were from the receptionist at check in, "Good fun, really harsh on your skin".  Okay....  We spoke to some other swimmers yesterday, "Don't put your head under, it burns your eyes."  Okay...  Written warning next to pool "Enter with caution."  Okay...  So for some strange reason I was a little dubious to take the children in .  But surely this is where the magic happens, or was that just the Lake Magic? I am encouraged to go first, (I've always been hopeless with peer group pressure), and 'apparently' I volunteered to be lab rat for this particular experience.  The crowd sits on the edge telling me to "get on with it", I have a funny feeling if I scream it burns, I will be the only one swimming today.  The water was actually refreshing, and guess what else?  Magical!  I could not sink.  I was as buoyant as a rubber ducky!  On my back I could of quite easily floated reading a book and balanced a cocktail on my belly, I was not going under.  On my belly, my bottom bobbed above the water like J-Lo and it was near impossible to do a breastroke kick without my calves waving around like a beginner synchronised swimmer.  Due to the lack of co-ordination my children possess, (no idea what side of the family that comes from), they had both acquired many grazes after the morning's climbing adventures.  I am presuming by the volume of their screams on the waters entry, that this would indicate the burning of salt water on open flesh wounds.  Perhaps not my most proud parenting moment, but I satisfy myself that salt water will clean the wounds.  Keep in mind this satisfaction does not arrive until well after the screaming ceases.  Despite my judgement in parenting, the salt pool was worth the floating experience.

The last stop for our busy day of exploring Hyden was at Mulka's cave.  I had mentioned earlier the rumour of the cabins being haunted.  This is regarding the Aboriginal Legend of Mulka. Mulka was the illegal son of woman who fell in love with a man with whom marriage was forbidden according to their law.  It is believed that a result of breaking these rules, she bore a son with crossed eyes. Even though he grew to be an outstandingly strong man of colossal height, his crossed eyes prevented him from aiming a spear accurately and becoming a successful hunter. Out of frustration it is said Mulka turned to catching and eating human children and he became the terror of the district. He lived in Mulka's Cave, where the imprints of his hands can still be seen, much larger and higher than that of an ordinary man.

Fish and half moon

Hand prints

The cave was fascinating to explore. It was hard to see the hand prints, so I found myself going snappy happy with the camera, and viewing them after the photo was taken. Hidden images seemed to appear from nowhere. Maybe it was just my paranoia working overtime, or just the spiritual feel after being educated about Mulka, but I think I got an image of a face. Could it of been Mulka?

Do you see a face?

Mulka's Cave

The Humps are a large granite rock formation that is used as a water catchment.  After climbing through Mulka's cave, we trekked over rocks, through bush (stumble, trip, stumble trip), to be greeted by lovely views and more steep climbing.  We kept trekking until all 3 of our little explorers literally fell apart, I think the adults were in denial for a little while.  Fatigue, clumsiness and hunger set in so we cancelled our expedition and tried to successfully find our way back to the car.  I must admit, I am glad that I shared this experience with the children... but... if they were not in tow, and we were wearing better shoes, and had more sunscreen, and had more water, and I had a hat with corks hanging off it, then hubby and I could of trekked for a few more hours.  Regarding the hats with the corks; the flies were like an artillery of insect warriors.  I spent the majority of my time outdoors waving my arms like a ninja with invisible num-chucs trying to swat flies.

Nanas talking about the view

Shoo fly, don't bother me!

Wanted to trek some more!

Apart from the flies, it was a wonderful holiday, and I would recommend the area of Hyden to anyone wanting to explore inland Western Australia.  I would love to say we will be back, but probably not, as there is so much more of Western Australia to explore.

Day of Advertised Love

Many people give cards called valentines to people that they care about and sometimes chocolates, or candy if in America, and flowers are exchanged, too! But where did this tradition come from?

The history of Valentine’s Day is a bit mysterious to me. Apparently back in the 3^rd century there was a man named Valentine who was highly looked upon by religious people and was made a saint. However, there were also several other St. Valentine’s in history.  We do know that legend associates Saint Valentine with being a heroic and romantic person and the tradition of sending love notes comes from him.  It’s a good occasion to express care for one another!  Or perhaps "Valentines" was really created by 'Mr Hallmark Cards' or 'RSVP.com dating service' in an attempt to boost sales.  After all, look at how much money can be made on the hype of Christmas and Easter.

Basically Valentines Day holds two options for everyone;

1. You panic about how you can proclaim your affection for someone special without being too obvious.  Sending flowers once a year doesn't really impress, so it is time to stress over a restaurant, with a set menu of 'the romantic favourites' with a complimentary glass of cheap sweet fizzy wine.
2. You panic that you do not have anyone to proclaim your affection for, so you waste your money and effort on purchasing new sparkly collars for your dog or cat, or spoil yourself with a stay at home dinner for one, that is most likely portioned to be a dinner for two!

So you thought it was easy?  Why roses? Nana is the only one who grows them.  And to be totally honest, they hurt.  A lot.  No matter where you try to hold them, those things are lethal.  Is it a hidden message?  I love you so, but I will hurt you just the same? Roses are the traditional gift given on Valentines Day, but before you buy roses, know what message you're sending. Colour means a lot.
Red roses proclaim "I love you."
Yellow roses indicate friendship and freedom
Pale pink roses connote grace, gentleness, and gratitude.
Deep pink roses say "Thank you."
Lilac roses indicate the sender has fallen in love at first sight with the recipient and is enchanted.
Pure white roses symbolize truth and innocence.
Peach roses speak of appreciation and gratitude.
Coral roses express one thing with their passionate color:
Orange roses communicate enthusiasm and desire on the part of the sender. 
Dead Roses rregardless of the original color, dead roses say "I love you more than ever", just joking, "It's over" loud and clear.
 
And then there are combined rose combinations that bring on an entire new meaning.  I wonder if anyone has received a bunch of roses mixed deep pink and dead.  "Thank you, it's over", how very polite!
 
Shouldn't everyday be Valentines Day?  After all, it feels like it is when you are in the first 3 months of a relationship.  I would much prefer a post it note on the bathroom mirror proclaiming love.  Or even "please clean the mirror, love hubby", it is the thought that counts.
 
I am the first to say "don't waste your money on flowers, I would prefer quality time together".  But when I received a delivered bottle of champagne and dozen long stem roses delivered to my door, I must admit, I did blush.  (And then I thought, 'doesn't my husband know me?  Shouldn't it be a long stem rose and a dozen bottles of champagne?')  Actually, not really delivered to my door.  I received a call from the delivery service...
"Is this Mrs Gonzalez?"
"Ummm, yes"
"I have roses and champagne to deliver and you are not home."
"Ummm, okay"
"What do you want me to do?"
"Ummm, keys under the mat, light the candles, pop the champagne and prepare the oysters...."
Okay so I did not really say the last part, and luckily so as the delivery person was female and over the age of 70, (not my type).  She was, however, willing to wait the two minutes until I arrived home, then she passed the champagne and roses to me via my car window as I drove in the driveway.  How many of you can say that you had flowers delivered to your car on Valentines Day? Not many I am sure.  I am one lucky lady!

Flowers from hubby and friend, 2 dozen roses, I'm feeling the love!

Last thought, for now, the words.  Who is cheating on the Internet for a romantic message?  Be honest with yourself.  Don't worry.  Majority are just writing "Dear you", "Love me" on a Hallmark card.  Don't kid yourself, there will be no rose petal messages across your King sized bed that drapes an imaginary mosquito net, nor will that message trailing behind that bi-plane be for you.  After all, your name is not Audrey, no matter how much you try to alter or twist your nick names for each other, it is still not Audrey.  (By the way, happy Valentines Audrey, blah, blah, blah, seriously some people in Perth have money to burn, they are obviously in the first 3 months of a relationship.)
 
So I receive a card with my gift today.  I hope hubby does not mind that I share it with you.  (He is away in Karratha for the week, he has a memory like a goldfish, so I figure if I speak now, he will of forgotten by his return.) 
 
"Dear You,
You made my dreams come true when you became my wife.  I hope JK you will be my Valentine for the rest of my life.
Love you,
Me XOXOXO"
 

Isn't that sweet, although.... who the $%£& is JK?  Seriously, do you know?  I've been trying to turn my name into JK all afternoon, and it can not be done.  I've been trying to make cute nicknames for myself with these initials, like... JK, Jolly Kisser, or JK, Joyous Keeper!  But they just don't seem to be right.  So then it hits me, JK, Just Kidding!  Oh no! Is hubby breaking up with me in a Valentine card.  Just Kidding will you be my Valentine! Really!?!  Then why waste the money on the roses and champagne?

 

So once again, I jump the gun, or not jump, but leap a country mile over the gun.  Apparently hubby has no idea who JK is.  When he scribed the message to the florist JK was not included.  I am presuming the florist is single and hates this romantic day of celebration and is out to cause turmoil amongst lovers.  That is my guess.

 

Happy Valentines Day.  A day to let anyone that you care about, know that you are there.  Does not matter the message, or the colour of the flower, it is all about the thought.

 

 

Can I close my mouth now please?

We all love something free.  What is almost as good as something free?  A really good voucher, that is what!  I have recently started looking at Internet sites that offer special deals for your capital city.  I actually think I am a little addicted.  I first started with the intention of finding cheaper options for my family to 'discover' Western Australia.  There are some fantastic deals out there, (if you do not read the fine print), admittedly, I am a victim for anything that boasts 50 to 98% off. (Apart from the wearable demtel blanket, I do not know how this was ever marketable, it's a blanket!  Isn't it?  Did I miss a hidden heater, personal trainer or free steak knives in the offer?)

So far we (I) have bought a 2 month gym pass, one month of boot camp sessions, canvas prints, a weekend in Margaret River, a weekend at an eco resort, a photography course, teeth whitening and 3 Swedish massages, an Indian massage and a reflexology foot treatment, kids socks and men's underpants.  Do you know what I have redeemed so far?  One thing.  The canvases.  And only because I could do it over the Internet with out getting off the couch.  I've obviously been very busy?

Anyway... with the children just about to start 2 days of care each week, it was time to redeem some of our good fortune and start making some bookings, now that time will be available.  Priorities.  Massage first please.  My last massage was 3 years ago, so needless to say, I've been thinking about this one for a while.  But alas, apparently the company will not honour the massages, "they were all a mistake and were not supposed to be offered, it was supposed to be a men's head massage", (I can see how this may be confused with 4 massages and a foot treatment, practically the same really).  If I contact 'Sharon', I can organise a refund.  So starting 2 weeks ago, I established a great relationship with Sharon's message bank service, and I speak to her most days.  Do not think she views our relationship with the same enthusiasm as she is yet to return my calls.  And I have a funny feeling that if or when she does contact me with my refund, she may also give me a little restraining order for stalking her.

Time to try another voucher.  This time teeth whitening.  I did not quite know what to expect.  I presumed they would rub something on my teeth, and "abracadabra", I look like Taylor from The Bold and The Beautiful.  (Yes in my mind, my beautician did appear magically with a pointed hat and a sparkly wand in her hand.) Not quite.  This was the third most traumatic experience of my life.  It closely followed my first child birth, and a Brazilian wax given to me by an apprentice.Two experiences I do not want to repeat.

Imagine if you will, 'Clockwork Orange' the movie.  If you have seen this then it may be easier to visualise my discomfort.   Do you know the scene where they keep the mans eyes open and he can not close them? This is what they did to my mouth.  I am always being told to shut my mouth, surely I knew this was going to be difficult?  I ALWAYS want to do what I am told not to do. I am placed in a chair about a metre away from a mirror and told to rub my teeth clean with a wipe then place protective gel on my lips and gums.  I look at the girl next to me, only to notice that she has a waterfall of saliva pouring from her mouth and running down her bibbed chest.  'Ewwww', is my first thought.  Second thought is, 'Good Lord, have they given her an electric shock, how does she not notice this happening?' She is just sitting happily reading a magazine.  Mind you, I am presuming she is happy because her mouth is stretched with a mouth guard to look like one of those clown games at the exhibition that you pop a ping pong ball into.  Clowns are always happy!

Anyway... back to me.  I clean my teeth, pop in the mouth guard, put on my gel, then wipe my teeth with the magic pen.  Not so bad.  I am told I do two 15 minute blocks, than three 10 minute blocks, applying more whitener in between.  Sounds easy enough.  Apart from the fact that once I apply my goggles, and the light is up against my mouth, the timer begins.  Do you know how I know the timer begins? Because I am looking cross eyed at a timer that is counting down at the tip of my nose.  Horrible.  I've been told not to take the light off my teeth and I feel as though I have been strapped with C4 explosives to my mouth and asked to watch the timer countdown to my demise.  To make matters worse, an extra loud beep, (but I hear siren) occurs on every minute.  Have you ever held something heavy that you can not put down, then all of a sudden, out of the blue, there is an itch, it is unbearable, it is on the tip of your nose, and you have no available limbs to scratch it.  Absolute torture.  Only I did not have an itch.  I had the urgent need to close my mouth.  Why?  No idea.  Probably because I was not allowed to?  But I can't.  Not allowed.  Do I ruin the experience of my first bought voucher.  What if it turns me off and I never voucher shop again?  I must be strong, after all, I only have 56 minutes to go.  Welcome anxiety, are you here to stay while we count down together.

Bombshell, my hand is wet... why is my hand wet?  I look at the mirror in front of me to see Niagara Falls spilling over my bottom lip.  Now I am looking worse than my drooling bulldog neighbour, I panic and grab for the tissue box next to me.  After wiping my lip, all I do is create a cob web of saliva that I seem to be passing from hand to hand to bib to chin to hand to chin to bib, then back again, you get the point.  I have never done this before, but I am officially juggling my own drool.  (Another tick off my bucket list perhaps?)  Awesome. Beep, beep, beep, beep.  First 15 minutes is complete.  Well would you look at that, juggling your own drool is a great time kill; although probably something you should not proudly perform in public.

Believe it or not, I did last the full hour with out removing my mouth guard, without closing my mouth, without using a full box of tissues, and without managing to get a single tissue into the bin next to me.  I did it.  I honestly feel as though I have accomplished something important.  By this I am referring to redeeming my first voucher, NOT by having my teeth whitened. 

Why you do these things to yourself I am not so sure.  Is it pure vanity or a need for extra self confidence? I am told that there is no consumption of drinks that could stain your teeth for 24 hours, such as coffee, red wine, or red juices.  Red juices?  Seriously?  I just purchased a bottle of V8 Strawberry, Banana and Raspberry smoothie from the Cafe next door because I needed to use the toilet.  Now I can not drink it?  Was this experience worth the 2 weeks of a white smile?  Perhaps for the experience.  But someone flick my ear lobe if I start talking about botox.  Unless I am over 40.  Then it is totally acceptable.  Right?

What is Australia Day?

I understand the origins of Australia day or should I say invasion day? Is it the date to mark the day Europeans stole aboriginal land, massacred the natives, destroyed the land and was the beginning of racial discrimination? Or is it really just another excuse for skipping work, enforcing double demerit points, and drinking beers during the day with friends? We're just proud of our country and want to celebrate it, nothing wrong with that.

I had a lot of expectations for Australia Day in Perth.  Considering that there were no fireworks on New Years Eve because they had to "save them for Skyworks", I was under the impression that it would be a day of excitement for all.  All of the streets surrounding us were blocked off for the day and only residents could exit and return with proof of address.  No visitors were allowed unless you had applied to the council for special permits months prior. This meant that hubby was on taxi service to retrieve our friends, and the logistics of a gathering was all a bit of a nightmare.

This all seemed a bit extreme to me.  Barricades and wire fencing seemed to appear on every street, across bridges and along the Swan River.  There was so much of it I was highly confused if it was to keep people out or to keep them in.  It felt a bit like CHOGYM but on the wrong side of the river. We had decided to have some company for a BBQ and a quick swim before heading to the foreshore to the 'Celebration Zone' for some free fun for the kids young and old.  Hubby disappeared earlier in the morning to pick up some ice for the drinks.  The service station is at the end of our street.  200 meters away.  He was gone for over an hour.  Needless to say that the road closures had caused some confusion.  He purchased ice from a service station 2 suburbs away, and then panic really set in when he showed security his rental agreement, (as proof of residence) to re-enter our street.  "Sorry mate, you are a renter.  We are only letting property owners return to their properties today!"  He was joking of course but my husbands agitation did not quite comprehend this straight away.  Further jokes were made as they pretended my husband ran over there toes, giggles had by all.  This is 9am.  I wonder if they were still laughing at 2pm when the temperature reached over 40degrees and they had been standing in the sun all day?

With the temperatures so high, we made the most of the pool, and as word spread about our plunge of coolness, our quiet BBQ turned into an Australian day party with over 30 people! We were only briefly hindered by the note "BBQ not in use" hanging in the entertainment area, we decided to wheel down our own from upstairs.  How very Australian.  A BYO BBQ, where you have to BYO your own BBQ!

Australia Day is all about a good Barbie queue, (I mean BBQ)

Temperatures soared around 40 degrees for most of the day so we decided it would be best to stay here rather than suffer the heat of walking to Sir James Mitchell Park for the free rides, concerts and games. We had a great view of the air show that seemed to last for over an hour, and we were safe from the rain the rolled in about 6pm.

The fireworks were amazing, the best I had seen in a long time, the only thing that seemed to be missing was the Sydney Harbour Bridge.  They lasted for a full half hour and were released from jet skis, barges and buildings.  Lightning works were the back drop for the fireworks as a storm threatened to hit leaving quite an amazing sight.

Photo taken by Richard Huynh of the spectacular natural light show that was going on during the Australia Day Perth Skyworks.

View from kitchen window

What is Australia Day? It was an ace arvo where the ankle biter's can chuck on a cozzie for a splash.   Tunes were going off to Triple J's hottest 100 and we all bogged into a beuat Barbie and booze.  You little ripper!  Australia Day is about being able to understand what I just said!!